I have no good title for this post
If you don’t read Metrodad, you should. He’s one of the original dad bloggers. He’s wicked smart, way beyond funny and poignant as hell. And he’s getting divorced.
Even with the online love letters he has written to his wife in the past, this does not surprise me. I’m sorry for him and his wife and their daughter and their dog. But sorry does not equal surprise. And it’s not because I have an inside scoop. It’s because I am always aware that we know merely what people want us to know. The most open book has secrets tucked away in code or behind a locked door. I didn’t know what the post would reveal, but I knew it would well well-written and meaningful because that is something you can count on when you visit Metrodad. And that’s really all I need to count on.
MD has an incredible loyal, diverse, ginormous following and his post that announces his divorce from his wife is delicate yet adamant and says something very simply that blog readers sometimes forget.
“I’m not going to delve into how closely my online “persona” is aligned with my “real-life” personality. That’s an abject lesson in futility that serves no real purpose. However, as I read through my archives to get a better understanding of that persona, I realize that there’s one important aspect of my personality that rarely surfaces in my writing; I am a deeply private person.” — Metrodad
Ditto, MD.
It’s a balance that we each need to be comfortable with as we put ourselves out there in cyberspace. I believe even those bloggers who suffer from bloggarrehea proofread, spell-check and question. Well, the responsible bloggers do that, imo. The bloggers who say they do not self-censor, are only explosive within the parameters they’ve set for their blogs. So, they’re open within specific confines - and that works for me. I in no way think I know everything about everyone I read — even the bloggers who pour their lives and loves and losses onto the virtual page. There are off-limits topics, I assume, for almost everyone, and if it’s not off-limits then maybe it’s just something they choose not to write about.
And while Metrodad writes about parenting, I hope that his blog remains the same well-rounded New Yorkerness that it has always been, and that it will become tinged, though not awash, in being single. Not that I don’t read single parent blogs - I do like some of them - but I find much more common ground in the comfortable simplicity of parent blogs that are balanced.
It’s hard to determine what makes a good story and what doesn’t — based on our personal rules. Is it what is written or how it’s written or a combination that makes for good reading? I think the latter. Although with someone like Metrodad - whatever he writes - works. And while it seems like it’s easy-peasy to get all that out — whether it’s a kid-post or a divorce-post or a food-post — I’m sure it’s a meticulous process.
And believe it or not, so is this. At least most of the time.
By Jennifer Parker on Jul 28, 2009
What I don’t censor, my husband does. Sometimes I wonder if one day I’m just going to be out of things to talk about…then I remember that there is always SOMETHING to talk about. Since I don’t blog for the masses, I could blog about painting my toenails pink. No one would care, but, by golly it would be blogged.
**p.s. I promise not to blog about my toenails…at least not this week.
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SuburbanKvetch replied:
July 28th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
@Jennifer Parker, you’re right, there are always things to blog about - and as long as it’s what you want to writer - you’ve got the right to do so! Toes ‘n all!
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By RookieMom Heather on Jul 28, 2009
True dat.
My posts and pictures share a lot of the fun stuff we do as a family; I also complain and bitch about stuff that might ring true or funny to others; but I’m very aware of not sharing super-intimate details online.
I just can’t go there.
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SuburbanKvetch replied:
July 28th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
@RookieMom Heather,
I think that even people who share really personal things don’t share everything - and that’s how it should be.
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By MindyMom on Jul 28, 2009
I am one of those bloggers who is pretty open about what I write but you are right in that there are still things that are left unwritten. I write what I feel and think about but it’s more of an excerpt sometimes rather than the full story. That’s all it really can be in a few hundred words.
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SuburbanKvetch replied:
July 28th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
@MindyMom,
I actually thought of you when I was writing this. You share so much of what’s going on, but there are definitely things I know you don’t say - and explaining it as an excerpt is the perfect term. I only see an issue with excerpts for the readers who assume that what you read is all there is — but I think seasoned bloggers and blog readers know the score.
Your excerpts are always amazing, by the way. You are brave to share so much online - I don’t go to many places! Last night I wrote a funny email to a friend about men - and she dared me to post it. No way.
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By Melanie on Jul 28, 2009
This is very timely for me. After writing today’s post about running out of things to talk about, I had a private conversation with a friend and realized I have PLENTY to talk about, I just don’t want to get into it on my blog. There’s one topic in particular that I’ve never discussed on my blog (or publicly on facebook) and I’m debating bringing it up this week. (I don’t mean to taunt it, the timing is just perfect.)
I think I do a good job of making people THINK they know every little thing about me, when really, I keep a lot to myself.
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SuburbanKvetch replied:
July 28th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
@Melanie,
I think you’re right. There is so much you share on your blog — and living in Mexico and writing your book are so huge — I bet a lot of people assume that’s the whole shebang. I think you can blog about whatever you want as long as you are comfortable with it. I have a long lists of things I don’t blog about - but if I ever decided to change my mind then it would be because I came to a place where writing about it works for me.
And now — gee — I can’t wait to find out what you have up your sleeve!
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Melanie replied:
July 28th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
@SuburbanKvetch, bwahahahaha! I have you all fooled!
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